I’m a list maker and box ticker.
You know what this means – I achieve one thing and I’m onto the next.
Having a beautiful baby has always been on my list. However, now she’s peacefully sleeping (at long last) I’m thinking and searching my mind for what’s next. I don’t mean today or tomorrow I mean in the grand scheme of things. What am I set out to achieve next. The worst thing is, this is such a beautiful moment in time where I can really and truly justify laying on the couch but it’s the last thing I feel like doing. I’m running on adrenaline and just can’t relax. I feel like I should be taking on ten thousand new things at once, yet I can’t quite gather up the energy to even make a cuppa tea.
I guess there’s that factor that there’s a reality behind this and I’m actually on call 24/7. How easy is it to actually get anxiety here. This is what no one talks about.. the fact that even though your baby is resting and looking oh so beautiful you’re scared that in any moment she’ll wake screaming, she’ll need feeding, she’ll need changing.. yada yada – and you just don’t know when you’ll be called on.