Baby

What’s next

I’m a list maker and box ticker.

You know what this means – I achieve one thing and I’m onto the next.

Having a beautiful baby has always been on my list. However, now she’s peacefully sleeping (at long last) I’m thinking and searching my mind for what’s next. I don’t mean today or tomorrow I mean in the grand scheme of things. What am I set out to achieve next. The worst thing is, this is such a beautiful moment in time where I can justify laying on the couch all day between feeds and nappy changes (it has truly been a day where she’s a miracle baby) but I’m far to anxious to relax. Too anxious that she’ll soon wake and my responsibilities resume so instead of infact relaxing, I’m thinking – thinking about what to put on my list to do next.

 

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It’s real

Mum life is everything I wanted it to be. I’m truly blessed. Beautiful healthy baby girl, amazing supportive husband and even the white little dog to go with it.

To be honest – I couldn’t wish for more.

There’s just the truth to it though that sleep and lack of it really impacts your ability to function. It’s exactly how every other mum before makes it out to be also.. you just don’t know how to carry on at times, but you do. There’s this strength you find inside to just keep going – it’s probably that you’ve no choice.

I often find myself just blankly staring into a world of nothing where I’m to scared to close my eyes for the mere fact that I can’t predict when I’ll need to open them again. So instead I just stay awake, and eat and sit, waiting for my next duty call.