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Gratitude

As time goes on and I feel more comfortable with this mum gig I’m thankful for so many more things in life.

I also find it so much easier to choose my battles in life. Some things just aren’t worth the energy worrying or arguing over when there’s another little human depending on you.

Baby · Uncategorized

Multi-tasking Mumma

I just got back into the vibe of blogging. Writing and reading other people’s stories. How nice to share and know you’re not alone in this motherhood gig.

In-between I had baby spew on me, then pooh the nappies right through. She’s now changed and I’m back.. on the timer before having to cook dinner and then get her ready for bed.

It really is like working two jobs and I’m still currently a SHM.

Are there any other SHM out there that find purpose in other ways than motherhood and chores? What do you do with your time besides see it vanish before you get a chance to fit anything in that you’d planned to do 😉

 

Baby · Uncategorized

Little moments

It’s really crazy this motherhood gig and how different it is to a real job, for one it is 24/7 and you don’t have anyone saying thank you or paying you! Yet you’re on call for when ever, where ever.. and you adapt.

I’m amazed at how moments can blend into 30 minutes or an hour of just gazing at my baby girl and making cooing noises back and fourth. Sometimes I feel I’m just in a stand still and then the day will pass me by. Such a contrast to the fast paced corporate world.

Especially when I realise I’m able to now see the wins, which in a previous life I would’ve thought someone crazy thinking a day where you’ve done the washing, got out of the house and prepared dinner as a win.

I wasn’t used to the motherhood pace or reasonable expectations. A few months ago I was still living in superwomen mode and beating myself up if I hadn’t managed three outings, prepared dinner and cleaning the house all in a few hours.

I’m still not sure I’m there yet in honesty. However I am learning to listen to all the mothers who’ve done this gig before me, ‘the washing really can wait’, thinking up my next dream career move also can wait.

These precious moments of now with the little smiles, gentle hands playing with my face and gurgling noises are really worth enjoying.

Baby · Uncategorized

SO long

I’ve been thinking about coming back to write a blog for so long now. I look through the other blogs I wrote early on when I’d first had my baby girl and evidence has it now that time does just fly.

In reflection of the experiences I was having back then with a bit of hindsight now it turns out that there are still good and bad days.. sleep deprivation still happens and sometimes being a mum is just plain boring.

There’s the little joys though that come with time. The smiles and the noises and the connection when my little girl gazes into my eyes not wanting anything more than the comfort and love from me.

 

Baby · Uncategorized

Purpose

I started writing this title last week.. and it really was a big topic for me during those days. I was adamant to find my purpose – other than being a Mum. I spent days writing lists and trying to think of things that defined me, things that I got joy from such as yoga, writing, photography and painting.. what did I stand for? ..what are my interests? ya da ya da.

It’s so odd that I reflect a week later on this and I’m slowly getting appreciation for this time in my life right now. I took a breath and realised there’s no point in panicking just because I felt like motherhood has taken over my whole being. Motherhood has in fact taken up most of my time – but I realise this is just for a very short period in my life that it will be so full on and that I should cherish it.

The funny thing is also that as soon as I relaxed and stepped back from searching for what else I had on in my life I was able to see that in fact I have a huge amount of hobbies and things I love. It’s just at the moment it’s really difficult to squeeze these things in. The day does just go by and often I’m sleep deprived. If we can feed, sleep and keep a tidy house while also getting out on a daily basis for something social and a walk then this is probably good enough for now.

I just need to work on being calm and enjoying the moment I think.

Baby

Scrambled Eggs on Toast & Peace

Tonight I feel so virtuous.

It’s like I’m at a day spa and it’s all because the little darling is in her cot and not screaming and it’s 7:30pm.

I had time to make myself scrambled eggs on toast. And sit and write this. It’s a success. Does this mean that things are finally getting easier? I’m not quite in the mood for smiling about it – one being for tiredness has overruled my ability to feel excited right now and two, ‘touch wood and all that’ – will it last?

I also wonder am I a bad mum for just wanting so bad to have this me time. And when did me time become sitting down to eat. It’s really come to that. The smiles do make it a heck of a lot easier, this is true, but the motherhood journey is hard and sometimes I just want to shut my eyes and zone out from responsibilities but then I reflect and feel like a horrible mother – is this normal I wonder.

I do think a week on from last, I’m slightly more energised though. Perhaps this is just a case of learning to live when I’m so exhausted though. It’s a different feeling to that when you’ve pulled an all nighter it’s a much deeper sleep deprevation. Your body doesn’t feel better if you gulp down a litre of orange juice and fry up some bacon, well it does but it’s not fixed as much. Camomile tea and eggs on toast to full the stomach and calm the nerves is what it’s about now.

 

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Sleep deprivation

I can’t help but ask the question why my little baby finds it so difficult to sleep when other mums seem to be fine. I mean we’re all sleep deprived to some degree but I find that we’re lagging particularly far behind.

It’s not uncommon to be waking every hour during the night to feed, nappy change and then settle (which takes another hour in itself).

If we get three hours in a row it’s a worthy fist pump.

We’ve tried swaddling, dummy sucking, fist sucking, medications, rocking, swinging the hammock, bathing before bed, changing into pyjamas, walking, singing, laying together.. it’s all just attempts to find the sleep magic – whether or not it will result in the desired outcome is all concluded by how baby feels in this particular evening.

What’s the magic touch and why is it that some babies just sleep while others simply don’t.

Gestational Diabetes

Gestational Diabetes

The day before our wedding I found out I had gestational diabetes.

I was devastated. I’d been eating so healthy and doing fitness, how could this be.

Two weeks after our wedding I found out I was required to take insulin 4 times a day.

This was such an added challenge to pregnancy. I had to watch everything I ate. No sugar and even small portions. I had no energy and I had to grow this precious little baby.

I now sit here with this gorgeous bundle sprawled across my chest. She’s here. She’s healthy.  I made it.